Preemptive precipitation panic much? Everyone has talked about the "Storm of the Century" all week (as if that even means anything, we're only a tenth of the way in), the great Nor'easter that will quickly turn DC into a multi-town version of The Shining. Hide the axes, make sure you clean out enough food to ensure obesity on the other side of your snowed-in sedentary weekend, and brace yourselves. I just find one thing puzzling in this little equation...
ITS NOT EVEN STICKING YET! AS OF 3:15 PM!!!!
::slow clap initiated:: You stay classy, Northern VA.
Here's the financial breakdown of what this snowstorm has cost me based on everyone's premature evacuations:
1) $52.50 of working today since the government closed at 1 PM. The FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. Granted, that may not seem like a lot of money to you, but I am poor and trying to save for grad school. Speaking of grad school...
3) $549.81 in travel fees for airfare and hotel reservations for an audition I don't get to go to. Why? Because USA Airways decided to cancel 24 hours before a single snowflake dropped. Subpoints to this bullet:
A) WIN! Boston University: they called me back early this morning to schedule me for a new audition after I left a panicked voicemail yesterday. They were extremely pleasant and very reassuring.
B) FAIL!!!! Expedia.com: I would ask for them to also refund the three hours of my life they wasted, but then I wouldn't get it back for 30 to 60 days, according to their policies. I stayed on the phone for 45 minutes only to be told to call back in an hour when they could confirm with USA Airways that my flight had been cancelled since they "weren't picking up". I called back in an hour and continued to wait for another 45 minutes while they tried to call USA Airways again and put me on hold before I could say "Waaaaaaiiiiiit! Why can't you just check onliiiiiiiiiiine??????" Then I put my phone on the dresser to charge, which promptly fell and closed and hung up. Lots of censoring about what was said and done after that. I called back again, held for another 35 minutes, and a lovely man named Jose finally had an IQ greater than the number of feet he has and decided to use the tracking number to check online. HALLELUJAH! Just as the voicemail I was left revealed, my flight WAS cancelled! That night, there were two Latin American men with very secure places in my heart. Unfortunately, Jose's boss, we'll call him the Alcalde, informed me that they would refund my money. In fact, I should have it back in 30 TO 60 DAYS. I thanked the Alcalde curtly and crawled into bed nestled between a blanket of rage and sheets of despair.
Dear Expedia.com: Your jaunty jingle in no way makes up for your mind-numbingly terrible service. And your jingle isn't actually jaunty, I meant that condescendingly, but I"m not sure it comes across in print. You should know that it is terrible and your addition of electric guitar on the fourth repetition every time only makes it more ingratiating, not more exciting and empowering. You suck, Expedia. I'm moving on over to Shatner's territory. Now THERE'S a jaunty jingle, no condescension included.
In conclusion, I have lost $602.31 because people thought the snow MIGHT be an issue. That's more money than I spent in the last two months. Lame-aggedon. Enjoy your snowangels, hope they come with insurance.
I will be using this societally induced hermitage to try out various bottles of wine and finish up the second half of Trueblood and Extras. Maybe baking. And exercise. And maybe some other fun along the way. No, guaranteed more fun along the way! YOU CAN'T TAKE MY JOY, EXPEDIA!!!!!!
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